Earthly Fears and Cosmic Perspective

Last night I ate Fritos and ice cream for dinner. Yeah, I sure did.

I'd like to say it was an act of Friday night indulgent self-care, but it felt more like feeding my fear gremlins. Turns out I can't cook when I'm paralyzed by fear (oh and I sometimes turn to emotional eating).

I'll spare you the details for now, but let's just say the winds of change have been blowing through the windows of our little house the past few weeks, and I'm having a very hard time staying in the present and keeping positive thoughts in my head. Projecting my thoughts into the future always brings up unnecessary fears, anxieties and insecurities.

Our perspective on life can get terribly thrown off when we try to include a view of an uncertain future, can't it? 

So after a proper meltdown followed by nine hours of sleep, I woke up to the sun shining and a reassuring conversation with my husband. (Love that guy.) Then I baked pumpkin bread and found this quote:

"Physicists tell us that the solidity of matter is an illusion. Even seemingly solid matter, including your physical body, is nearly 100 percent empty space -- so vast are the distances between the atoms compared to their size. What is more, even inside every atom there is mostly empty space. What is left is more like a vibrational frequency than particles of solid matter, more like a musical note."
~ (Eckhart Tolle, from The Power of Now)

Wow. Let that sink in for a moment. 

Such beautiful truths never fail to amaze me and bring me a greater perspective- a cosmic perspective.  Knowing that we are all part of something so grand and so connected, that we are made of stardust and our energy vibrates like music notes- somehow it makes my current life situation and the trivialities of the human experience seem less...heavy. It helps me find peace and reason in the chaos, to feel gratitude for all the good in my life rather than dwelling on the negatives and what-ifs.

Quiet comfort seeps in today as I eat fresh-baked slices of autumn and ponder the beautiful truths of the universe.

And I vibrate at a higher frequency. 

Goodbye Summer Nights

As night closes in, they climb and swing and reach with flailing feet.
They shed their summer skin without a second thought.
They do not fear the loss of light.

I stand watching pink turn to orange turn to midnight blue,
And wish I had their naive courage.

Did they notice that today the day and night were in perfect balance,
equal amounts of dark and light?
Did they shiver at the bite in the new autumn air?
Did they feel the change right down deep to their bones?

I did, I did.

Evening of the Autumn Equinox, Mission Bay San Diego

These Summer-Turning-Autumn Days

Goodness, how I get swept up,
like a freshly fallen leaf
in a September gust,
spinning madly
round some invisible force.

And after all the spinning,
all the hustle, all the running & doing
I am fallen, just fallen,
silent and tired
and beginning to dry out.

This is how it goes,
these summer-turning-autumn days:
new schedule, new routine,
and my old way of getting
so wrapped up,
so far from where I was
just a week ago
warming my toes on the boardwalk.

Autumn always has a way
of catching me off guard,
and knocking the breath
right out of me.

But this summer was a bounty of learning
and stories yet untold.
Autumn is the time to slow down and reap the lessons
that will get me through the winter chill.

There is still green life left in this.

Pause, Pier, Proceed

Crystal Pier sunset, Pacific Beach

Late summer sunset stalking at the pier brings a moment of peace.

I welcome the pull of the tide at my ankles. It's a nice change from being pulled in so many other directions that aren't nearly as grounding.

Remember, remember...it only takes a moment to capture the beauty in your day, to turn inward, to reconnect with your creative spirit and to make sure that you are ultimately proceeding in your own direction.

Take your moment.