In the Wake of Things

A week after completing my 365 Days of Creative, I feel like I finally have the time and energy to process it all. I was in a coma all last Sunday, sleeping off a year's worth of diligence, a week's worth of party planning, and an afternoon of the happiest of celebrations. Then I threw myself back into my teaching work, preparing for my summer of tutoring. I spent the better part of the week out of town visiting with old friends and young creative spirits. Now I am home by myself, sitting with all these strange and sudden feelings. I knew that they would come as soon as I slowed down and got quiet. They came today when I was lying on my back, taking more photos of the lanterns...

I am the orange one...still twirling with excitement, dancing on the summer air and floating on the wake of things.

Now comes the patient reflection, the harvesting of lessons learned and the synthesizing of honest realizations. Now come the questions. How to hold on to the sweetness? How to keep the momentum going? How to stay connected to that creative spirit that saw me through such a life-affirming year?

Now comes the inevitable asking...
Now what?

Inside, I avoid the unpacking from my days away. I stare at the flowers my husband gave me in congratulations. They are beginning to wilt. I see my days beginning to fill up with things removed from my creative endeavors. How quickly I forget. How easily I lose touch. I feel an odd sense of loss, and burnout and accomplishment and urgency all at once.

I decide to give myself permission to take my time processing it all. It is all I know to do in the wake of things bigger than me.